Remembering Stonewall

The performance had been organized by a gay rights group called Stonewall Nation. It was taking place in the auditorium of the Berkshire Museum. I was the director of the museum, so I introduced the show, and I mentioned that I had been at Stonewall. 200 people gasped aloud.

Stonewall was forty years ago. I was living in the West Village, around the corner from the dive bar where it all began. I didn't go to jail, I didn't get beaten up by the police, but it was natural for me to show up -- to make a statement. I thought it was ridiculous that gay sex was illegal. So I joined the crowd.

A couple of months ago, my husband and I went to see Milk. Great movie. It reminded me how very far we have come. My parents were bohemian intellectuals and we always had gay friends, but when I was young, ordinary people were not openly gay. There were no gay characters in movies or television shows. Gay couples did not adopt children (Well, they still can't in some states.) No gay teachers or legislators. Magazine articles on interior design did not feature gay couples. No listings in the New York Times when gay men and lesbians got married, celebrated commitment ceremonies or civil unions. Is everything perfect for gay people? Of course not. Homophobia is very real. Gays get beaten up, even murdered. Gay teens commit suicide at a higher rate. We're still arguing "don't ask, don't tell." Gay couples can only get married in a few states.

But forty years ago, it was so much worse. Until the 1970s, homosexuality was defined as a mental illness by the American Psychological Association. One of my mother's friends was committed to a mental institution in the 1950s because she was gay. For no other reason.

I'm writing about this for two reasons. The first is that today is the 40th anniversary of Stonewall. The second is that forty years ago, as a very young woman, I knew that it was wrong-- just wrong-- to discriminate against anyone because of their sexuality. I knew that my parents' friends Brad and George were just as committed to each other as any other couple. I knew that Tina was perfectly sane. I knew that the laws were wrong, not my gay friends.

I have had six careers. I celebrate reinvention. My core values were set when I was young and they haven't changed.